MUCH MUCH MUCH overdue update

Yesterday was the first day of our Christmas break, and do you wanna know where I am? Still at college. Why? Because I have a new job at Wal Mart (which I love) and I have to work most of break. I do get to go home for five days though, which is nice, sad, but nice. LOTS has gone on in the past well little over two months since I posted last, so much that I cannot even begin to remember it all. I somewhat purposely gave my blog a break just so I did not get too caught up in it, but also have been very busy. But, now I have some free time, and who knows when I will post again.

This semester is over though. I believe I passed all my finals, and have no doubts that I passed all my classes. (Now that I said that, I will flunk one, lol.) Anywho, I am going to be taking 19 credits next semester, that includes one voice class from Mr. Ives,I am really looking forward to that. =]

I am the only college student that did not go home this break. It has been hard staying in the dorm by myself. I have come to the conclusion that I am just terrified of being alone, and that is exactly what I am here. it seems wierd, but so true. It is only when I am alone that I started getting worried and scared, so me being alone, is not good. lol. Mrs. Knight invited me over earlier and I got to watch a movie there, then we went to the mall, and then I made dinner for the Propst and Speer kids (plus I made my mama's famous chocolate pudding, graham cracker, banana cake -minus the banana's.. I didnt have any - for desert and five of the six of them wantedn seconds, needless to say, it is all gone now, lol) but it is nights that are the worse. I know there are so many people on the same property as I am, but I still have the hole upstairs, and really this entire side of the building to myself. I felt like such a little girl last night because I left the light in one of the closets on. However, it seems as though every single verse that I have read in my devotions has applied to just about every feeling I have had the past couple days. Sad, lonely, tired, confused, frustrated, and even overjoyed. (Overjoyed about what? First, all the millions of blessings the Lord has given me this semester, and through out my entire life; second, finals are over; third, that I do get to go home for Christmas, even if it isn't as long as everyone else gets to be home.) I made a new rule for myself, that if ever I get sad or discouraged, I have to start naming all the blessings that I have been given from God, and dwell on those, instead of my discouragement. That has helped a lot. Nights are still bad (which it is night now, that is why I am on here), but I think it will get better.

"Schwartzie" (Heather Schwartz) has been nothing but a blessing to me though. She left me lots of notes around the room and kitchen, plus lots of food, lol, and has assured me that God is going to get me through this next month and that I will come out of it more mature. =] I love her, she also told me to sleep with one of my many stuffed animals.. lol, she doesn't even know the half of how many I have. ;) but she thinks that will make me feel better. So I am going to try it tonight.

I got to go visiting with Bro. Matt and Kristen this morning though. That was a lot of fun. It is not the bus route that I help out on, but I still know most of those kids and love em just as much. (I love bus kids... they're the greatest!!!) I am also excited that even though I am not home, my bus route here is just as much home to me as my actual home is. So Sundays will be the highlights of my weeks here by myself, plus I will hopefully be going to the Schwartz's house one of these weekends, and Ashley might come visit me as well, we will see I guess. And I have Bethy here, and I absolutely love her. She is the greatest!

The B's (Bernards) are my adopted family this school year though, and I absolutely love them. Mrs. B is always taking me to work and picking me up, and get this... there was this "Hoops and YoYo" mug from Hallmark that I really wanted, adn they got it for me for Christmas(thanks Kristen.. the most amazing adopted sister ever. hehe) plus LOTS of chocolate.. which I still have not finished (got it like two weeks ago) and I gave quite a bit away while teaching/sitting in on the kindergarten and first grade class. Plus, Schwartzie also had a couple pieces, I think.. she's probably the only other person I offered them too. hehe. Shhhhh!

Well, it is almost ten on Saturady night and since I have gotten very little sleep this week I think I will go to bed. (And if I am sleeping I cannot possibly think about being all alone over here.. hehe.) Although I did have a really wierd dream last night... and no Schwatzie I did not eat popcorn before bed this time... but I won't get into that, lets just say that Wal Mart loved me and did not want me to go home at all.. like ever. lol. Anywho, gonna finish my conversation with Schwartzie then off to bed. Any calls/emails at this time would be greatly appreciated. lol. If I am not busy! Miss you all, and cannot wait to see those of you who I am going to see next week. (Oh, by the way, I am coming home Wednesday =] )

And I am 100% okay with staying here if that means I get to keep my job at Wal Mart. I really do love it, and if I am not one of the ones to go after Christmas is over then I will be quiting Wendy's, so pray I get to keep this job, I really, really like it. Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!